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Posted 5/19/08

New Particle Discovered

The Texas A&M Cyclotron Center and the CERN Research Laboratory in Geneva, Switzerland have recently announced the amazing and unexpected joint discovery of a new subatomic particle. Due to its characteristics, it has been dubbed the Obamon. Very little about this particle has been measured so far, but its main attributes seem to be that it has almost no substance coupled with extreme spin. For years, the scientific community has postulated that such a particle might someday appear, but until recently logic has dictated that it could not exist for any measurable period. Now that it has been discovered (and logic is apparently out the window), it is being lauded worldwide as the most important event since the Big Bang. The major scientific journals seem to have developed a love affair with the particle. No criticism is tolerated, and those who dare question its existence are immediately labeled "anti-Obamonists".

The discovery of the Obamon came about when two high energy, left-spinning liberons were smashed into one another again and again for months. (Observers were frankly getting pretty sick of watching it.)  Although the initial differences between these liberons were almost imperceptible, eventually one of the liberons emerged as the exotic Obamon. The other faded into oblivion, although it seemed that it would never quite go away. (It is expected that in 2012, the losing liberon will emerge again to be studied further.) After the collision, part of the spectral analysis showed a strange, almost eerie digital trace. It is only preliminary at this point, but when the digital message was deciphered it seemed to say, "For the first time in my existence, I am proud of my quantum level."

Some evidence suggests that the particle has associated itself in the past with other more stable particles like leptons and muons, hence its true nature was not seen. This gave a false impression that the Obamon was in fact in the main stream of subatomic particles. Upon closer scrutiny, it became apparent that its characteristics are quite different from the typical particle. In fact, it actually appears to have been almost secretly spending time in energy shells with some of the more radical particles such as the volatile and destructive reveron.

It is still hoped that discovery of the Higgs boson can tie the weak force and the electromagnetic force together leading finally to proof of a unified field theory. Many researchers now fear that this new particle will likely tear these fundamental forces apart due to its divisive nature, setting research back decades.  Ironically, despite its flamboyance, the Obamon also seems to be fairly passive in many respects. One key scientist stated (on condition of anonymity), "This thing does not seem to want to confront other aggressive particles attempting to achieve the same energy state. After all, it is a quark-eat-quark vibrational-string field out there. If I didn't know better, I'd think it was just stupid."

Until now, the search for the Higgs has consumed most of the available funding for this type of research. But now money is flooding in from small donors worldwide. 72 year old Mrs. Gertrude Schwartz of Stone Mountain, Georgia contributed $50 to the newly formed Obamon Foundation recently. Mrs. Schwartz says, "I ain’t able to afford much from my pension and the small income from the bait shop, but if this helps lead us to a much needed change in high energy particle theory, I am all for it. I just want to become part of the Obamonation.  All we can do is dare to hope."

No reason to get excited," the thief, he kindly spoke,"There are many here among us who feel that life is but a joke. But you and I, we've been through that, and this is not our fate, So let us not talk falsely now, the hour is getting late." - Bob Dylan, "All Along the Watchtower", John Wesley Harding , 1967.

Note: The sentiments expressed in this blog are strictly the personal opinions of Ken L.Walker and refer to no specific person or entity.